They say you never realize what you’ve got until it’s gone…ain’t that the truth.

Right before we left Austin, Zach and I spoke at the church (gave our testimony, for all you churchy types) about what it had meant to us. Preparing for that really allowed me to reflect on just how much the church was a part of our daily lives.

We were so lucky to have an intimate relationship with our last pastor, I could (and did) call or email if I needed help or had a question or an inappropriate comment to pass along. We could hang out with him, we could trust and respect him, we could learn from him.

Now that we’ve moved, we’re churchless and the process of finding a new one is really daunting. I know nothing will ever replace what we’ve left, but we’re hoping to find something new that still fits us.

Oh wait, let’s do this in the style of a Geico commercial.

Zach and Vida are just two regular people, so we’ve enlisted this movie announcer to help tell their story…

Searching for Jesus in a world full of hate, a young innocent couple embark on a journey. Little did they know just how much Jesus and hate they’d end up getting.

No? Ok, how about we do this snarky, Miss Vida style….yes, I think that’ll be much better.

So here is Church Hunt Phase 1 or A true experience of the fight or flight response.

The first church we check out is the one that Zach’s friend attends. This guy and his wife were amazing to Zach when he was trying to get the job. They let him stay at their house twice, they showed him some things, and they even recommended Zach for the job. The hard part is that we’re just checking it out and we know it will be a bit awkward when the next Sunday rolls around and we’re not there. But never mind that part.

Ok, so we’re in the parking lot of an elementary school waiting to go in. We’re a bit early and we’re both psyching ourselves up for this. Ok, we can do this, we can talk to strangers, we can be friendly, we can mingle, we can fit it. Um, no…no we can’t. Both of us actually get a little nervous and we admit we’re not ready to face all of those friendly people. Too bad, the pastor’s wife parks right next to us. Shit, now we have to go.

Alright, outfit…cute but casual in a stylish sort of way. Hair…combed and straighted (first time since we unpacked) Sunglasses…awesome, a little bit bitchy, and totally unnecessary (except I feel invisible when I have them on…invisible and slightly superior) Husband…exactly like he always is, holes in his jeans, flip flops, and scowl firmly in place.

Ok, here we go.

They meet in the school gym which is small but the perfect size making the room seem big enough but still intimate. Everyone sits at large, round tables seating 4-8ish, which I immediately love. They have it done nicely with tablecloths and matching chairs so it doesn’t look haphazard. First to greet us is Zach’s friend, not at all what I was picturing. He has tattoos all over his arms, funky hair, and gaged ears, he actually looks like he’d fit right in Austin. He’s nice and then someone else comes over and blah blah, chatty chat chat, smiley smile smile, new to S.B. very pretty, no job, still unpacking.

We meet the pastor, youngish, friendly, but you could tell he as trying which was nice so I know he’s human and not some grinning, idiot pastor-bot. We were already sitting at the table so he had to squat down to talk at our level…weird.

Band gets up to play (two guys on guitar, one guy on drums, and a girl at a keyboard). They do a decent job and while I’m sitting down trying to read the words of the song Zach nudges me and says that everyone else is standing. Oops.

I’m singing and observing. Mostly young people, couples with young kids, some college-aged people too. Singy sing sing sing and then I notice a little communion station. Cool, I like communion. I see a tray with some crackery things and two goblets. They’re sitting on a table with…wait, back that up, did I just say two goblets? What? Do we all just drink after each other? Gross, and shit number 2 for Sunday the holiest of all days.

Pastor gets up and talks, he’s relaxed and speaks without notes (I find this very fancy). He moves in a half circle as he talks to make eye contact with everyone (also fancy and much appreciated). Zach leans over and says, “Did you see the two cups? We don’t have to all drink out of them do we?” It’s creepy when we think alike.

I pull out my super cool notebook to take some church notes. One of the girls I know always takes notes during church in a notebook. I love that idea since I’d like to be able to look back at previous things which is hard to do when I toss the back of the program I sometimes write on. And my friend gave me this beautiful, red leather book with Faith written across the top (THANKS FISHY) so I’m feeling rather smug, religiously superior, and judgmental as I whip out my book to take notes.

Ok, turn to the book of…mmmhmmm, writing that down. We’ll be talking about…yes, yes, got that part too. Oh, I like that phrasing…yes, more notes. Ok, nice long scripture…underlining key points. We’re going to deviate from the normal order and…yes, yes, I’m getting it all down.

Wait, we’re going to what…what’s that he said? We’re going to listen to the sermon for a bit and then we’re going to put the scripture into action….we’re going to put our hands on the people at our table and pray for them.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooo.

P a n i c, p a n i c, p a n i c. Frantic scanning the other people for signs of a joke. I feel my eyes widening and I’m checking for my purse and how far away the door is. Seriously, I am experiencing the whole fight or flight thing and I am clearly, clearly choosing flight. Would it be super rude to quietly slip away when the pastor turns around? Would it be hard to explain to Zach’s friend? Um, yes and double yes.

How’s Zach taking this….about the same as me.

Shit. Number three. I am never coming back here, this is so not for us.

Ok, let’s focus on one thing at a time. We can’t leave, so how’s the sermon? Pretty good, I like what’s he saying. Different in structure than I’m used to, but with my trusty notes, I’m good.

Oh no, it’s time. Time for the switch, bye bye sermon, hello communion, hello touching and praying. Oh sweet baby Jesus, please help me. What can I do, what am I supposed to do, who can help me???

Oh, what’s that you say? I’m in church, I should pray? Right, right let’s pray. So I pray for an open mind, I pray for God to lead us to the right church and for us to be open enough to realize it. I pray for God to help me get over my fears and inhibitions, get over myself, and really experience new things. I pray to leave my comfort zone of faith, leave complacency, and really stretch myself. I pray to grow spiritually even if that makes me uncomfortable and I pray for God to help me get through this service. I tell God that I know he’ll lead me to the right place if I’ll just open up and let him.

I lift up my head and people are heading over to the communion table. I watch and no, they aren’t drinking each other’s backwash. They’re getting up on their own, going over to the table and dunking the cracker in the juice. Zach signals he’s not going and I decide to do it anyways. I’m eating my cracker and I realize I miss that when Anthony would pray for us during communion. As we would come up and take communion I could hear him murmuring our names, “God, I pray for Zach I pray for Vida.” I know I’m a total sap, but it made me cry every freaking time. Zach gives in, takes communion, and we get ready for the the touching and the praying.

The girl at our table looks at us and asks, “How do you want to do this?” I’m assuming not at all isn’t an option so I just look around and shrug. The other guy at our table leans in and say in his best flasetto, “Awkwaaaaaard.” Likewise my friend, likewise.

So she goes first and sits in a chair and we gather around her, put our hands on her shoulder and back and quietly pray for her. I decide that I’m not going to do it half-assed so I really pray for her. Her week, her family, any troubles, that she feels safe and loved, etc. etc. It feels good and I start to tear up. She gets up and it’s the other guy’s turn. Same deal, family, life, troubles, that he doesn’t feel lonely. It’s Zach’s turn and I pray for him and I have to work really hard not to cry. I pray for his work, and us, and his family, and that he’ll know that I love him and that he’s an amazing husband, and that he’ll feel God’s presence, that he won’t feel alone, and I pray for a million things.

It’s actually kind of awesome and I don’t feel weird at all.

My turn and that does feel a bit awkward. Not because I didn’t like people praying for me, but just because I didn’t know when to get up. There wasn’t a bell that dinged or anything so you just got up when you felt like people were done. Um yeah, that’s enough praying for me, thanks.

So it’s over and the band has been playing this whole time and I’m thinking, that sucks, no one prayed for them. But the pastor then takes over the guitar and plays and asks people to come and pray for the band. Very nice.

The pastor recaps and here are two of my favorite things he said/quoted (which I can tell you since I took notes in my pretty, red notebook):

“…Father of compassion, God of all comfort who comforts us in all our troubles…so that we may comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves received from God…”

” I’ll need something from God that will come from someone else”

He was talking about community and this is a Christian thing I’ve never been big on. It took me a long time to be ok with it in my previous church and I had some pretty thick boundary lines. But overall, I think I took more than I gave in terms of community. It’s more than being in a group or attending a barbecue or helping someone move. It’s also about helping to support them spiritually and care for them spiritually, I shouldn’t just pray for my family and friends, I shouldn’t forget about the other people in my community. Of course lets not forget I have no community right now, but whatev.

The sermon really highlighted for me the next big steps I’m going to need to take to grow spiritually. Obviously on the whole community thing, but it was more of a realization that I’m ready to grow and stretch and it won’t always be comfortable, but I’m ready.

In retrospect, I really liked the way the pastor approached his sermon. He gave us the text, he broke it down for us added some stories and illustrations, went back to the text to reiterate and then had a exercise, a piece of practical application. It worked well because the church was so small (50 ish people I’m guessing) so of course a lot of people already knew each other. It was the most awkward and terrifying moment I’d had in church, but in the end it was good.

I like things that help me grow and I like people who help me grow. The people at the church were super nice, they greeted us, said hello during the mixer (yuck and double yuck), invited us to dinner afterwards, and took my number and called the next day to invite me to a women’s small group.

It was weird after church ended. Everyone was scurrying around, breaking stuff down and hauling equipment off and Zach and I just stood, hoping everyone would stop talking to us. It was really odd not to be in the mix of everything, not to be breaking down, not to be making plans, deciding where to eat. Instead we just nodded our heads and followed someone to the restaurant they all chose. In the end, 85% of the church ended up at the same place for dinner which was quaint, if not a bit scary.

When Zach and I got in the car we just looked at each other and said, “Wow…yeah.” I told Zach my mouth hurt from smiling so much, which was true. He said to suck it up because we still needed to get through diner.

We’re such closed people, it’s trying and cumbersome to meet a new couple, let alone an entire church. We were both exhausted when we got home but we agreed that we liked the church. The praying thing freaked us out initially but once we did it, it was ok.

We liked the people, liked the pastor and it seemed like a real “come as you are” church. Not a, we say come as you are but we need you to conform immediately kind of place. I think we’d fit in well and I really like that fact that’s it’s small. We’re not deciding until we’ve visited the other places on our list, but this one is for sure a contender….

as long as they don’t make me come up for an alter call

or try to heal me

or make me work with the infants.

Tune in later for Church Hunting Phase 2 and a lovely description of a church we won’t be going back to any time soon.