Warning….if you are one of my friends, this post is mostly likely about you.
I mean, it’s about me, but it’s about you.
So one of my closest friends just had a baby. Her name is Brooklyn Tatum McCool and yes, she’s adorable. I could ooh and aah and coo and drool if you want. Because some babies are cute, and she is. And one person having a baby is cute and fun, however, one of my other friends just got pregnant. Not to mention my sister-in-law just had another baby and another friend is expecting baby number 2 in a few months.
And I’m thinking, “AH! It’s a pandemic explosion of baby fever! Don’t get too close, I’ve heard it’s catching!”Â
Seriously though, what’s with all these babies?

Technically, that’s not a serious question. I know what’s with all the babies, it’s just that time of life. Most of my friends are about my age and they’re married and they’re ready to start a family. The thing about it is, I’m not ready to start a family.
And you’re thinking, that’s ok Vida, you don’t have to. You can wait a few more years until you’re ready to start popping out kids. I know you’re thinking that, because that’s what I’m thinking. I said I’d wait until I was 30 before I begin to seriously think about having kids. I think that’s a good age considering Zach and I, and it’s totally possible I may never have kids. Whatever the case maybe kids aren’t in the foreseeable near future.
Let me temper that last paragraph with two little asides:
Aside #1. If you tell me it’s the people who profess to not wanting kids the most that end up having them the quickest…I’ll shoot you. As you can see from the litany of babies, we know what causes it and we’re pretty well inoculated.
Aside #2. Even though kids are on the iffy side, I do already have names picked out. Pandora or Siren for a girl and Angelus or Hezekiah for a boy. Weird I know, but I love the names.
Back to the point. Well, how about what’s not the point. The point is not that I don’t want kids, even though I don’t. And the point is not the rampant baby fever, even though it’s clearly here. The point is that while my circle of friends is technically widening due to procreation, it’s actually getting smaller, or at least really different.
Why, whatever do you mean? Just because people have a baby doesn’t mean they’re any different. They are the same people they were before, just with a baby.
Right.

Let’s take a small example, Summertime activities. I wanted to get together a group of people to go floating, but that’s not something you can do with a baby, whether or not it’s still in the womb. Ok, not floating, how about going to Fiesta Texas? Nope, no babies, no pregnant mommies. How about wine tasting? No way. There’s a bunch of stuff I could list, but really I was just struck at how different things are.
If I wanted to be fair, which I don’t,
I could list 5 times as many things that moms with babies or moms with pregnant bellies can do. I’m not trying to say a person’s life stops, because I don’t think it does. All of my friends are the kind of parents that want to take their kids out and still do fun things, still enjoy life as young adults, young parent adults.
The thing is, it’s not just wine tasting and roller coasters. I know that once children are your main focus (and let me say for the record, if you have a child, it better be you main focus….oops, not it, he or she) other things start to change. I’ve been around people before who have kids and as a non-baby person you often don’t speak the language. You thought you were having a normal conversation and then all of a sudden it’s binky this and ti-ti that. I don’t know a ti-ti from a wee-wee and you just lose me when it come to child rearing stuff, so I can envision what will eventually happen when more and more of my friends have kids.
What’s my point?
Yeah, I don’t know.
I guess I was just struck by how different thing were going to be. For me I mean. They knew things would be different, but I’m not gaining a baby (babies), I’m losing a friend (friends) Please insert boo hooing and crocodile tears here.
Ok, ok, enough with the histrionics. It’s not really that big of a deal. And yes, I love all the new babies, blah blah blah.
What I’m really saying is that if I know you, and you aren’t holding a baby in your arms or in your stomach, please keep it that way for a little longer. I’m too busy having fun with you to stop because you want a greater purpose in your life vis-a-vis a child.
5 Responses for "Don’t drink the water…it’s baby season"
So as much as I love reading your blogs, I’m not quite sure how to respond to this one. I have many thoughts: some that are comical and could make a good joke; some that are sad, as though some type of era has ended (which I refuse to believe has happened); and some that could come from a bit of anger or confusion in reference to some of your points or comments, one of the major being: “I’m losing a friend.”
It’s your website/blog and of course it’s about you. And this blog is 2 of the 12 bazillion reasons I love you: honesty & expressiveness. Two strengths you carry.
But I can’t help but wonder a few things; if this blog is a deep down thought/feeling you have, is it something you only wanted to blog about, just to let out your feelings but not to discuss b/c it just feels good to write it out and move on, or is it more than that?
The “new mom” has a few fears herself. Fear of being out of the loop with her closest friend while she watches her hang out with others that do not have babies b/c it’s just easier. Fear of losing the connection and sitting on the sidelines hearing of the “fun summertime activities” that she is not a part of b/c of a newborn. Fear of just kind of being forgotten by her closest friend while she creates memories with others.
So is it different? Heck yeah. Will there be conversations you won’t want to hear from me about little McCool? Of course, and I expect that. I don’t expect you to want to hear about her sleeping schedule, her eating schedule; not that you don’t care, it’s just not a priority. I’m ok with that. But what I’m not ok with is someone feeling as though they are losing someone.
Well…
Vida…
I must say, if your husband hasn’t already told you, Chance and I quite enjoy reading your blogs. Chance is more dedicated than I am…but when I saw him reading this particular one…I had to check it out.
I can’t say I’m IN your shoes…because I’m not. I mean…I have three jobs, one of which I work away from home…with two women - sisters. One of them just had twin boys, and the other one is having twin boys in October, their seamstress is pregnant with her fourth, and another girl or two in our building are also pregnant. I’m around it all the time. I can see where it can cause gaps. The same way gaps in friendships happen when one of the friends is single and another is married. You can still be friends, GREAT friends…but things DO change, because you’re in a different stage in life.
I just wanted to let you know (and I know you know this)…but you’re not the only one out there. I’m surrounded with babies too…and I KNOW that in about 2 or 3 years ALL of my friends who all got married about 1-2 years before I did are ALL going to be popping the little boogers out (sorry, I’m blunt).
It is scary…to think that these friendships I’ve worked so hard on are going to have totally different dynamics. It’s scary to think about how I’m going to deal with that. Chance and I sit where you two sit on the kids thing (except I haven’t picked out ANY names for the kid we may or may not have). I feel like it’s entirely possible that I might be perfectly content not ever giving birth…or adopting…or being responsible for taking care of another person.
It’s also cool to see Summer’s response. You know…I didn’t realize that those people whose lives were changing mine…are changing too. They have fears too. That’s neat.
I don’t know really what my point is in commenting. Maybe it’s just to say hi. I just think it’s interesting on how many levels I feel as if I can relate to you. And..here’s another one.
Good luck in these next few months. It will be different. But you’ve gotta remember how good it’s gonna be to be Auntie Vida! (:
Claire,
So my husband’s the web guru, not me, and I can’t figure out why your comment is there but not showing. That said, thanks for the comment. It’s kind of a weird feeling to have all these babies. Like when you’re at the ocean and you wade in and the water swirls around your ankles and you feel like you’re moving but you’re not.
Chance has said a few times that we have some similarities and don’t let my husband fool you, I too enjoy Wideawake!
My favorite Baby’s Mama,
You know there’s more love for you than I can express. I’m so happy to be a part of Tatum’s life and excited to get to experience her growing up. I can’t wait to give her horrible obnoxiously loud toys and finger paints and loads of sugar.
It’s just such a weird feeling to see everything change. I’ll work hard to make sure that as our relationship changes, it only grows stronger not further apart.
My favorite Baby’s Mama,
You know there’s more love for you than I can express. I’m so happy to be a part of Tatum’s life and excited to get to experience her growing up. I can’t wait to give her horrible obnoxiously loud toys and finger paints and loads of sugar.
It’s just such a weird feeling to see everything change. I’ll work hard to make sure that as our relationship changes, it only grows stronger not further apart.
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