Repost this or I’ll hunt you down and cut off all your appendages. Oh yeah, I wear a size 5 in shoes, and have you ever had a sex dream about me?
- Author: Vida
- Filed under: Commentary
Mar 22,2006
When I was an undergrad my email was infiltrated by a barrage of inane chain letters. READ THIS, they said…this REALLY happened to my friend, they proclaimed, send this to 15 people or you’ll never find true love, they warned. I hated all that crap. I just deleted it. I didn’t care that for every person I forwarded it to $0.10 would be donated by Microsoft to help little Jessica with cancer. I never read the sob stories of loves or limbs lost, only to be found again by the grace of God.Â
Thankfully, I now only receive one of two of those a month. Somehow little Jessica still has cancer and she’s still little, and my friends will only know I truly care about them if I forward THIS “angles are watching over you� email. Alas, my joy is short lived because I now get a ton of mySpace crap.
The other day I got a forward that threatened to kick me off of someone’s friend list if I didn’t repost THIS message to all my other friends. Oooooooo, scary….I’m shaking in my knee-high leather, stiletto, pointy toed boots. I get the If You’re A Christian, repost this, I get the If You’re a REAL Christian Repost This, and I get the If You’re a REAL Christian Who Doesn’t Care About What Everyone Else Thinks repost this.
While those are annoying, what gets me even more are the endless questionnaires.  Some are short, most are long. They all have the most random questions or statements. What time is it? Do you want to kiss me? Do you have a crush on me? When was the last time you cried? What are you wearing? Do you have a crush on anyone else? Do you like puppies or kitties? Would you rather have a hug or a kiss? Do you prefer width or girth?
What….WHAT? Who makes this crap up, and why do all my friends respond to each and everyone of them, and more importantly why do I feel the need to read them? Since when did we get so lame that we have to send out a survey asking each of our friends if they want to see us naked? And why do we feel the need to post that in a public forum? Why do people need to post whether they prefer broccoli or asparagus?
What about real questions? I don’t mind getting to know people better but can we get something a little more involved than whether or not I prefer men to wear boxer or briefs (boxers). And if that’s too much to ask….if I’ve taken crazy pills and to ask real questions would be earth shattering, then can we please for the love of Pete stop posting in a public venue whether you are currently wearing granny panties or a thong, and would any one on the distribution list like to see you in them.Â
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7 Responses for "Repost this or I’ll hunt you down and cut off all your appendages. Oh yeah, I wear a size 5 in shoes, and have you ever had a sex dream about me?"
The stress from your job has finally got the best of you. I think you are leaking. It’s time to contain the breach before its too late!
I love you and all but, i have never had a sex dream about you. It is a sister thing.
You are dead sexy and a damn good dancer.
This really happened to me, I was rescued by the side of the road by the lovely miss Vida. You know your special when you emit a special oil fog that makes your windows al smeary.
I love you
Dainer
Matthew…
I wonder what makes me so stressed at work? Could it be that tyranical boss of mine? Hmmmmm…
Daine…
It DOES take someone special to emit their own fog. Really, how many other people do you know that have their own fog?
I have my own fog…. ?????
My roommates sometimes emit fog. It’s usually not a plesant experience for anyone though…
Eeewwww. I said fog. Not black stench cloud of death. There is a difference.
Just catching up on the “Miss V” blog–(actually Nicole reminded me to read it). I’m sooo glad to find someone else who feels like I do about those inane chain emails. I’ve always wondered what do the people who send them get out of it. I mean they have no clue of whether I forwarded it or not. I had to call my nephew out for actually threatening me with eternal damnation unless I forwarded one. I’d really love to see that conversation…”Well you lived a good life,…mostly honest,…gave to the poor,…helped your fellow man,…wait…what’s this? you didn’t forward the slippers for my dying mom chain letter,…to h_ll with you where you’ll ponder forever there sinfulness of not forwarding cute chain emails. ”
I used to participate in the surveys but those got old…real fast. As for my dreams…as a psych major, I know better than to discuss this in public. I will say that I never considered dreaming about you…until you mentioned the “knee-high leather, stiletto, pointy toed boots” –thanks, now I have to make another therapy appointment.
Hope you’re enjoying the coast
Dollfan
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